I’m feeling like new again. To say that I’m feeling like new admits that I was feeling very dilapidated this past week. I was down, and it spiraled. I felt as if I was falling behind at a rapid pace, and my body was screaming for a break. So, I took a break at the advice of a hellacious migraine. When will I learn to take a breather BEFORE the headache hits? But a few Excedrin’s, sleeping all day, creamy coffee, a good cry, and a very warm, fuzzy blanket later, and I’m feeling myself again.
I’ll be honest, it was a migraine that felt suspiciously like a mental breakdown. I cried in the middle of laughing with Daniel. I slept for 11 hours a night. When the migraine finally hit I knew, “girl you’re overworked.” So, I paused. I stopped all social media, I pushed back writing this post, and I rested. Not like, baking and cleaning kind of rest but full on asleep in bed until I felt like a human being rest. I’m a person again, I’m glad to say. A little worse for the wear and feeling fragile but a person none-the-less.
It usually hits this time of year. Christmas is hard. Family isn’t always easy. Finances get tight. And, this finicky little thing called Vitamin D seems to be in short supply. When I couple these things with my personality to compartmentalize, plan, do, get after it — that kind of thing, I end up with a face full of migraine and crying over a Hallmark movie (that wasn’t even supposed to be sad, mind you).
I feel awkwardly embarrassed to quote Johnny Depp right now but his words are my truth in this moment.
“People cry, not because they are weak. It is because they’ve been strong for too long.”
Somehow my real strength slowly morphed into a self-defense mechanism, and it was only there to protect my vulnerability. So I recognize, I pause, I appreciate, and I go forward with fingers crossed hoping to not make that same mistake again.
I only say this to you so that you know, It’s okay to feel weak sometimes. It’s okay to let your guard down and self-recognize ugly patterns, and then admit them to your people. I crave to be real to you, and so I am here saying, “some days I have it all together, today I don’t.”
But these cookies do. I know, it feels weird and awkward to talk about these pretty cookies that I took pretty pictures of on pretty things. It feels self-serving and dishonest. But they aren’t. These cookies are the product of one of the things that gets me through life. They are the outcome of ugly days and struggling nights. Because Christmas is hard, family isn’t always easy, finances get tight and SAD is real.
Do the things that bring you real joy this holiday season. Maybe it’s baking. Maybe it’s just doing nothing and ordering in salty Chinese food. Find a new favorite coffee shop or hole up in your old stand by. Find the things you love in each family member, and cherish those memories you’re building. Watch your favorite Christmas movie twice in one day. And if you need a recipe for Christmas cookies, might I suggest Peppermint Shortbread Cream Cheese Cookie Sandwiches? I love them. I would literally marry them if they were as snuggly as Daniel.
Peppermint Shortbread Cream Cheese Cookie SandwichesPrint Recipe
- -Peppermint Cookie-
- 3 sticks unsalted butter, room temp
- 1 cup powdered sugar
- Pinch of salt
- 2 teaspoons peppermint extract
- 2 drops Americolor dusty rose food coloring
- 3 cups flour
- -Cream Cheese Filling-
- 4 ounces cream cheese, softened
- 1/4 cup butter, softened
- 2 cups powdered sugar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
Cream the butter, sugar, salt, extract and food coloring together until smooth. Add the flour a once and mix until combined.
Place dough between to large pieces of parchment and roll out about 1/4th of an inch thick. Place in the fridge on an even surface.
Chill for 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Cut dough into circles using a small biscuit cutter. Place the cookie back in the fridge for another 10 minutes if they start to soften. Arrange on a cookie sheet a few inches apart.
Bake for 10-12 minutes. Cool on the cookie sheet.
In a standing mixer, cream the cream cheese and butter until smooth and uniform. Add in the powdered sugar and vanilla and continue to cream for another minute. Place into a piping bag.
Pipe the frosting onto half of the cookies and sandwich them together.
Dust with powdered sugar.